Our Fathers by Rebecca Wait

Author:Rebecca Wait
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Europa Editions
Published: 2019-12-18T16:00:00+00:00

The meal was lamb shanks with mashed potato and cabbage. It was very good. Malcolm thought Fiona had probably agonized over this meal, a suspicion that was borne out by Gavin’s comment as the others praised the food: “I’m glad you like it. Fiona’s been in a state about it, haven’t you?”

He hadn’t meant to embarrass her, Malcolm was sure, but he could see that Fiona minded. “I haven’t,” she said, a red flush coming into her cheeks.

“Yes, I bet you’ve heard about nothing else all day but lamb shanks,” Ed said, taking it up. “Kathy’s the same when she’s having people over. Frets and frets about the cooking.”

Well, maybe you should help her, Malcolm thought, though he knew he’d never assisted Heather much while she was alive. He’d believed it wasn’t his place, but he saw all the ways now in which he could have done more. Not that Heather would have had it, probably. You stick to your sheep, he imagined, or perhaps even remembered, her telling him.

“Gavin, Kathy’s glass is empty, and so is Chris’s,” Fiona said, rather sharply, Malcolm thought. “Could you sort out more drinks, please?”

Gavin went out to get a fresh bottle of wine. Ed, seated to Malcolm’s right and across the table from Tommy, said, “Still on the water, Tommy? Can’t we tempt you to have a proper drink?”

“Ed, leave him alone,” Kathy said.

Ed was definitely drunk, Malcolm thought. He wished, once again, that he could think of something to say to turn the conversation, but he’d never been good at this; he’d always relied too much on Heather to keep the conversation going. He tried to imagine what she might say, and came up with, “Winter’s coming,” which sounded more ominous than he’d intended.

He saw Tommy choke slightly on his water and quickly hide his mouth. Well, it is, Malcolm wanted to tell him.

“Yes, the weather’s closing in,” Mary said, as Gavin returned with the wine and went round refilling everyone’s glasses (Tommy covered his empty wine glass with his hand and gave a polite shake of the head which fortunately didn’t set Ed off again). “It’s getting darker earlier and earlier. Bit depressing, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know,” Kathy said. “I always quite enjoy the winter, getting the fire going in the evenings and huddling up inside. And you have to have the winter, don’t you,” she added, “in order to appreciate the spring.”

The pause that followed lent this comment an unexpected profundity.

“That’s very deep,” Ed said after a moment. “Very deep, Kathy.”

“In the midst of life, we are in death,” Gavin said, rather surprisingly, as he resumed his seat. Malcolm wondered if he was drunk too.

Catching his wife’s exasperated glance, Gavin said, “I mean, you need death in order to appreciate life. Don’t you?”

“Can we please stop talking about death?” Kathy said.

Malcolm managed not to look at Tommy.

“You started it,” Ed said.

“Ed, I did not.”

“You did. You were talking about winter and spring.”

“It wasn’t a metaphor.”

Chris and Mary Dougdale started laughing, and the atmosphere eased.

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